The Road Warrior Scale – Round 11

By on May 31, 2022 0

Freo is in the middle of a pretty impressive run here at The Mongrel. Toppling incumbent prime ministers on the road is no small feat, but they aren’t done there.

Brodie would become just the second bastard midfield champion of the season, snatching the title from Christian Petracca, and now, with this huge road victory, the Dockers rise to the top of the Road Warrior Ladder.

Not a bad week at work…

We’ve been hearing it for years – teams based outside of Victoria have it harder.

Forced to travel interstate almost every two weeks, they travel enormous miles across the country to be a part of the sport we love.

Meanwhile, some Victoria-based clubs are cracking up sad when they have to play Marvel Stadium instead of the MCG, and vice versa. Or those who get a little mean when a move from Kardinia Park is announced.

So how are the teams doing away from home and who is traveling the best right now?

The Mongrel has designed a small scale to evaluate who is the best road team in the league. Oh, Vic teams will always get a peek if they’re good enough, and while I expect a number of fans to say this system is rigged to favor non-Victorian teams… I don’t care really. Stop whining.

So how does it work?

The Road Warrior ladder is named after one of the greatest tag teams of all time. Don’t come at me with your demolition trash or your Powers of Pain bullshit… those were Road Warrior rip-offs… which were, in turn, 1980s movie rip-offs, madmax.

It was called The road warrior in the United States because… hell, I’m not a movie buff. Do your own homework.

Either way, you get four points for an interstate win and two points for an away site win that is NOT played at the site you consider your home. I don’t care if it’s not your home game – you’re still on the pitch where you play your home games. The Road Warrior Ladder Nazi doesn’t care about your feelings.

Tasmania is considered a home game for Hawthorn. You choose to play your home games there – you copy it. Same with GWS and Canberra – if that’s your choice, you wear it.

Now that my belligerence is out of the way, let’s get down to business.


1 – FREMANTLE – 16 POINTS (90 points win differential)

2 – MELBOURNE – 14 POINTS (166)

3 – BRISBANE – 14 POINTS (134)

34 – ST KILDA – 14 POINTS (117)

5 – SYDNEY – 10 POINTS (124)

6-GEELONG – 8 POINTS (113)


8 – GOLD COAST – 8 POINTS (41)


10 – CARLTON – 6 POINTS (42)

11 – RICHMOND 4 POINTS (109)


13 – HAWTHORN – 4 POINTS (64)

14 – GWS – 4 POINTS (59)

15 – WEST COAST – 4 POINTS (13)

16 – ADELAIDE – 4 POINTS (1)


Only two movers this week – at both ends of the table.

The Western Bulldogs earned their first away win, wiping out the devilish West Coast by 101 points at Optus Stadium. On points, the ease with which the Dogs headed the ball from the center was embarrassing for the West Coast, and regardless of who they played and who they didn’t, the lack of defensive intensity was shocking.

Of course, the big news was Freo’s win at the ‘G against the defending champions. Their third-quarter outburst truly reminded me of what the Dees did to the Dogs late in the third quarter of last season’s Grand Finals. Irrepressible, irresistible, and…. I can’t think of another good word that starts with “irr….”. Maybe “irregular”?

You see, it doesn’t work, does it?

The victory catapults the Dockers to the top of the halfway tree, with four huge interstate wins to their name.

Anyone, anywhere, anytime.


WESTERN COAST hop states will land at Adelaide Oval against the Crows

MELBOURNE NORTH head upstairs to play the Suns in Darwin

SYDNEY attempt to replicate Freo’s success against the Dees at the ‘G

And BRISBANE face Freo in the undisputed match of the round at Optus Stadium


GEELONG pack a lunch and head to marvel to play dogs

Wrestling Note of the Week – The British Bulldogs were the first team I saw that pulled off the incredible types of double-team moves that are so common now (not THESE types of double-team moves… get off the internet for a some time, perverse). However, both guys heavily abused steroids in order to look big enough to walk in what was WWF giants country at the time.

In Dynamite Kid’s biography, called ‘pure dynamite‘, there’s a story that shows how far these guys would go to maintain the size of the power that steroids gave them, Dynamite injecting himself with horse steroids on the road, because he had nothing else .

He immediately passed out and woke up a few hours later.

Both guys died way too soon, but considering this type of behavior, it’s a wonder they didn’t die even sooner.

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